The Beauty of the Beast
by ZoeStaresAtClouds
Summary: Remus Lupin's friends are all he has, for in the Wizarding World he is discriminated because he's a werewolf. But what happens after he loses them all in one night? After years, he returns back to Hogwarts and the Order returns, giving him purpose again.
1. Chapter 1: Introduction

_Please give me feedback and stuff, I'd love to improve my writing skill! This is the first chapter of a story I'm writing. _**My computer has auto-corrected 'lycanthropy' into 'philanthropy' (no idea why), as far as I can see, I've corrected everything, but if I missed one, you know what I mean.**__

"It's a full moon tonight, isn't it?" Ramona asked, with a pitiful look. Remus sighed. It seemed that whenever people weren't looking at him full of fear and disgust, they looked at him with pity.

"Yes, it is." he answered, smiling sadly at Ramona. She lived in the apartment next to him and often joined him for tea in the late afternoon, she was one of the only people in his neighbourhood who talked to him.

"How are the Potters?" she asked, trying to lighten the sullen mood that had appeared after she'd asked about the moon.

Remus smiled, instantly happier. "They're great, Sirius bought Harry a toy broom. They invited me to join them at dinner tomorrow." The young werewolf was looking forward to tomorrow more than he would've admitted. His friends were all he had, and there were only four of them, since nobody wanted to get to know a beast like him.

"Ah, that's great." Ramona's eyes flickered to the window subconsciously, it was early October and the days were getting shorter. "I'd, uh, I'd better be off." Remus' neighbour smiled awkwardly, trying not to be obvious about the fact that she was afraid to stay too late, it _was_ a full moon, after all. "Good luck this evening. Have you had your potion?"

Remus scowled, despite his normally polite manners. "Yes, thank you." he answered, perhaps a little angrier than he meant, for Ramona looked taken aback. "Sorry, I know you mean well. I tend to have a short temper on the day of the transformation." Remus explained, apologetically.

"It's fine, don't worry, Remus." Ramona smiled solemnly.

Despite what Remus thought of her motivations to talk to him, she actually liked the chap. He was a very nice man and she was sad to see that she was one of the only people who could look past his affliction and see the man he really was.

"Best be off then, bye, Remus." the girl said, before leaving the apartment. "See you, Ramona." Remus replied softly.

He checked his watch and sighed. Five o'clock. One hour until he'd have to apparate to the nearest forest and get ready for the heavy evening ahead of him.

He stood up and put the tea-cups in the sink, then walked over to the mirror in the bathroom and looked at himself. He was looking extraordinarily pale and unhealthy, but that was normal on the day of a full moon. Returning to the living room, his eyes fell on a photography of Sirius, James, Peter and himself, all looking very young and happy.

"Bugger!" Remus mumbled, as he realized he hadn't replied to Lily's letter asking him to join dinner the next day. He checked his watch again, quarter past five. He still had time to write and send a letter.

_Dear Lily,_

_Thank you so much for the invitation, I would love to join you and James for dinner. It'll be nice to see young Harry again, too. I'm sorry to hear Peter couldn't make it, but I'm looking forward to seeing you all._

_It's a full moon tonight, so be warned, I'll probably be very tired._

_With love,_

_Moony._

Remus read over his letter and nodded to himself, deciding that it was satisfactory, and tied it to his owl's paw. "Take this to James and Lily, please." The brown owl hooted and flew off.

Remus stared out of the window for a couple of minutes, dreaming about his time at Hogwarts.

Oh, how he missed that place… Strangely enough, one of the things he missed most of all, were the lessons. Remus was a very intellectual man and being unemployed was a nuisance for him, more than for anybody else. The problem was, as soon as employers found out he was a werewolf, he was instantly fired. Always with an excuse as "poor communication skills" or "lack of interest", which were both as unlikely as a doxy dancing a ballet. Remus was a very kind and very polite man, who always seemed to find something interesting about anything. In any case, the poor man never managed to keep a job longer than a couple of months, resulting in him having no income.

The only reason why he had a house, was because James had been financially supporting him ever since they left Hogwarts. Remus hated accepting money from his friends, but he also knew that if he didn't, he'd end up strolling the streets of Diagon Alley, begging for money from strangers.

Suddenly Remus' thoughts were disturbed by his watch, which had grown arms and was pinching him, warning it's owner that it was six o'clock. "Blasted thing." he growled, but was more upset by the thought of what was to come that night, rather than because of the watch itself.

Remus took a deep breath and apparated to the woods outside of London. "Hmrpff." he growled as he landed in a deep puddle, water splashing all over his trousers.

It was getting darker outside and Remus knew that he shouldn't waste any time on scowling about wet clothes. He stared around him, feeling awfully lonely, while he took of his clothes and hung them on a nearby tree. He marked the tree with his wand, so he could find his way back in the morning. "And now we wait…" he mumbled, sitting down on a smooth rock.

The moon was almost rising, he could feel it in his bones. It felt like they were itching and stinging at the same time. Within the next ten minutes, he would be lying on the surface of the wood, crying out in pain as his joints snapped and cracked until he wasn't human anymore.

Remus' mind fluttered to all those nights during his stay at Hogwarts. The last years of his education there, his friends had been with him during every transformation, easing him through it. It made it easier for Remus, he didn't feel as lonely, but at first, he worried about the damage he could inflict on his friends.

He remembered the horror when he had woken up one morning in the forest, lying next to a dead stag. He had cried for at least half an hour before he saw his friends emerge from the trees, among them also James. The relief at realizing the dead stag was in fact, a dead stag, and not his best friend, was immense. Although he felt pretty foolish for letting his friends see him cry. Sirius had teased him about that numerous times after the event, but James always shut him up, feeling touched that Remus had cried over his dead body, even if it wasn't really him.

Once again, Remus was shaken out of his thoughts, but this time by a creeping sensation up his back, and a tingling in his toes.

The transformation had started.


	2. Chapter 2: Dinner at the Potters'

_Please leave a review telling me what you think, feedback is definitely welcome, encouraged even! Hope you enjoy this story, it's not very interesting yet, but I'm getting there._

**__**My computer has auto-corrected 'lycanthropy' into 'philanthropy' (no idea why), as far as I can see, I've corrected everything, but if I missed one, you know what I mean.**__**

It had been a rough night.

Despite the Wolfsbane Potion, Remus was having a hard time controlling himself and, due to the lack of humans around, it was hard to get enough motivation to even try, but in the end he managed to get through the horrible night without inflicting any damage on other living beings, although he woke up with scratches all over his body. He wasn't sure where he got them from, as usual, his memory of the night was a blur.

That evening Remus arrived at the Potter's at five, he apparated onto the doorstep and before he could even ring the doorbell, the door opened, revealing James' grinning face.

"Moony, good to see you, my friend!" he said, happily, and pulled his friend into a brotherly hug.

Remus smiled, glad to see his friend again. It had been a month since he'd last seen them, James and Lily were very busy with Harry. Not that he wasn't welcome, but Remus didn't want to become that annoying friend they had to make time for, so he waited for an invitation.

As the two friends entered the living room, Remus could see Lily and Harry sitting on the couch. Lily was reading a story to her son, who was listening eagerly, despite his young age.

"Remus, you look awful!" Lily gasped, but she smiled teasingly.

"Thanks, Lily." Remus answered, sheepishly, as she stood up to greet him.

Young Harry squealed in delight when he saw his parents' friend and Remus ruffled his hair affectionately. He was very fond of Harry and decided that he would offer to be a babysitter, but now wasn't the moment, for suddenly the fireplace lit up with green flames and a tall man with dark hair stumbled out, cursing under his breath. As soon as the man saw the people standing in the room, a grin appeared on his face.

"That didn't go as smoothly as I hoped." he smirked and embraced his friends. "Haven't seen you in ages! What… Must've been two months! Hard to believe. How's my Godson?"

Sirius looked around the room and smiled lovingly when he saw the young boy sitting on the carpet, looking up at the grown-ups with wide and confused eyes. Lily laughed happily as Sirius picked up the boy and tossed him in the air.

Remus yawned and immediately felt annoyed with himself, _pull it together, Remus,_ he thought to himself.

"You look terrible, Moony. Rough night?" Sirius asked, with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah, a bit. Nothing happened, but the Wolfsbane Potion didn't work as well as it normally does." Remus mumbled. Lily sighed sympathetically, she hated seeing Remus struggling.

The group of friends talked for a while and then sat down for dinner.

After dinner, Lily picked Harry up and turned to Remus. "Would you like to help me tuck Harry in? He's incredible fond of you." she asked, smiling.

Her friend grinned, happy to be asked for something like this. Normally, people didn't let him anywhere near children.

"Sure!" Remus replied, a little too eagerly, making Sirius and James laugh teasingly. Lily rolled her eyes at them and headed upstairs.

"They never grew up, those two." Lily sighed, faux annoyance in her voice. Remus knew that she loved them for it, and quietly wished he could be more like them. They entered the nursery and Lily put Harry in the cot, humming soothingly. Harry wined a little, anticipating that his mother would be going downstairs again soon. Remus kneeled next to Lily, humming along. He hadn't felt this happy in months, just sitting there next to one of his best friends, singing for her precious son.

When Harry finally fell asleep, the two adults crept downstairs and joined James and Sirius, who were sitting at the dining room table, discussing some suggestions Mad-Eye Moody had made about the Order.

Remus tried to take part in the conversation, but he was too tired. After dozing of for the third time, Lily gently put her hand on Remus' arm. "Remus, not that I want you to leave, but you seem awfully tired.", James and Sirius nodded, agreeing.

"Yeah. Yeah, I should go, catch up on some sleep and stuff." Remus sighed as he stood up. To his surprise, Sirius also stood up.

"I'd better go, too. I've got some other Order stuff I need to finish…" he mumbled vaguely. "Alright." sighed James, who also stood up to say goodbye to his two best friends. "Send Peter my best when you speak to him."

Sirius and Remus both nodded and headed back to their homes.


	3. Chapter 3: The Bad News

_**My computer has auto-corrected 'lycanthropy' into 'philanthropy' (no idea why), as far as I can see, I've corrected everything, but if I missed one, you know what I mean.**_

Remus was looking out of the window, watching people passing by, wondering about their stories.

Earlier that day a couple of young wizards had been making offensive jokes about his lycanthropy, but despite this, Remus was in a good mood.

The days after he'd seen the rest of the Marauders, life seemed to be easier than normal. His friends had that effect on him, they always made him see the positive sides of life.

Remus smiled as he saw two young boys playing chase on the square in front of his house, laughing. He wasn't pleased to admit it, but his friends were all he had. What, with the Wizarding World treating him like a beast and the muggle world like a freak…

Dumbledore apparated into Remus' kitchen, making Remus gasp.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Remus. I didn't mean to surprise you." Remus' old headmaster said. There was something different about his voice, there seemed to be a certain sad undertone.

"Don't worry, sir, I just wasn't expecting any visitors." Remus smiled happily, unaware of the sad look in Dumbledore's eyes. "Can I help you, sir?"

Dumbledore put a hand on Remus' shoulder. "Sit down, Remus. I have something I need to tell you."

"Lily and James Potter have been killed by Lord Voldemort. I'm so sorry, Remus, I know you were very good friends…"

Remus felt like his heart had stopped beating. He stared at Dumbledore, trying to understand the words he had just spoken. "What… No… I'm sorry, I don't think I understand, sir." Remus stammered, perplexed.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry, Remus."

"No, it's not possible. There must've been some kind of mistake… Maybe they went into hiding, made it look like they're dead…"

The messy haired man looked at the older professor with begging eyes, hoping he would start laughing and announce that it was all a joke, even though that was very unlike the old man.

"I mean, how did he even find them? It's not possible… They can't be… No!"

It was the first time he'd ever seen Albus Dumbledore at loss for words, the professor searched for the right way to explain the rest of the heartbreaking story. "I don't know how to tell you this, Remus, but Sirius Black has been arrested and charged for the murders of Peter Pettigrew and twelve muggles as well as the betrayal of James and Lily Potter…"

The old man put a hand over his mouth as he watched Remus stammer, trying to find explanations, reasons why none of it could be true.

"Sirius… No! It's a mistake, he would _never_ do that. This is proof that none of it is true! Sirius wouldn't, he just wouldn't. _He was a good man!_"

"I'm so sorry, I'm so very sorry… But it's true. The bodies… The bodies have been found. Black is guilty."

Remus heard a strange noise coming from somewhere in the room. Some kind of wheezing, a high pitched sound. After a moment he realized that he was making the noise himself.

Suddenly he sprang up from his chair, making Dumbledore jump. "That bastard!" he screamed, "The traitor! After everything… We trusted him!"

Remus kept yelling, until he wasn't even using words anymore, just screaming and crying out in his rage and grief. Dumbledore had tears in his eyes while he watched the broken man barge around the room, pushing over furniture and throwing stuff on the ground. Half an hour later, Remus collapsed on the ground and started sobbing heavily.

"And Harry? Is Harry also… Has he also been…?" Remus had calmed down a bit, that is to say, he'd stopped wailing uncontolably. A numb feeling had crept through his body as if he'd been sedated. Dumbledore had made him some tea, which he was now sipping, not tasting the bitter taste of the drink.

"No, Harry is alive. He's been taken to his muggle aunt and uncle."

Remus didn't feel relief, but somewhere deep inside he knew that he was very pleased to hear this. He just couldn't feel anything but grief.

"Remus, I know this is very hard for you, but it's important you remember that you are not alone, you -"

"I am. I am alone. I have nobody. The only friends I have - had -, are dead. Or in Azkaban." A sob escaped Remus' throat.

What would he do without them? He had nothing and no-one.


	4. Chapter 4: Hagrid's Letter

_If you have tips & feedback, please let me know. Also, if you feel like it, I would love to hear what your thoughts are on the story! **My computer has auto-corrected 'lycanthropy' into 'philanthropy' (no idea why), as far as I can see, I've corrected everything, but if I missed one, you know what I mean.**_

When you lose everything you've ever had and you're left with nothing worth living for, life changes. At first, days start to melt into each other. You forget which day of the week it is, the events of the past days seem to be a blur. Then gradually, the same happens to weeks, and then months, and eventually, years. It's like you're stuck in a trance, but you don't care enough to try and get out of it.

Remus John Lupin was a kind and wise man. He wasn't a pathetic and weak person, who would shrink away into a corner whenever there was hardship in his life. If anything, he would face these hardships with braveness only a true Gryffindor could posses. No, Remus was not a coward. But even a strong and courageous man like him had boundaries which, when busted, could break him.

Remus was used to having a hard life and he hardly complained. He was a werewolf, and because of this, he was used to physical and mental pain. However, this was nothing compared to the pain he felt when, and ever since, he'd lost his four best friends.

The only reason why Remus still had a place to call home, was because Dumbledore occasionally helped him find a job. Remus knew that, despite his un-characteristic unwillingness to work, he had to turn up at the few jobs he was offered. Which he did, but nevertheless, he couldn't keep any of the jobs for longer than a couple of months. Whether this was because of his lycanthropy or because of the fact that he was very unmotivated, one could only guess.

After just more than a decade since the death of the Potters, Remus received a letter from the Hogwarts Gamekeeper, Rubeus Hagrid, asking him for photographs of James and Lily.

Remus stared at the letter for a couple of moments, reading over the untidily written words. He hadn't spoken to Hagrid in years, and he had certainly not been spoken to about his friends since their death. It came as a shock to be asked about them, but it wasn't unpleasant. Sure, it made him sad, very sad, but it also made him realise that his life was wasting away. Surely his friends wouldn't have wanted that for him?

Remus searched his apartment for the photos and eventually found a dusty, old box filled with moving images of his old friends. He smiled as he picked up one, one in which the young Harry was playing with his parents. Remus sighed, he wondered how Harry was. Sometimes he thought about visiting him, but he couldn't find the strength to actually go. The truth was, Remus didn't know if he could bear to see Harry, he was afraid that the boy would remind him too much of what he had lost. After a few moments he tore his eyes away from the photograph and put it on the table to send to Hagrid.

After more than two hours of reminiscing, the pile on the table had grown significantly. He had chosen all the pictures of Harry's parents which didn't have the traitor Sirius Black on them. One of the cons of looking at all these old photographs, was that Remus' hate for his former best friend, Sirius Black, had risen back to the surface, along with all the sorrow of his loss. Remus attached the bundle of photos, with a short note to Hagrid, to his owl and sent the owl off to Hogwarts.

Remus' heart seemed to way more than it had before he'd taken out the box of pictures, but nevertheless, he felt better than he had in years. He resented himself slightly for letting his life slip away like that, but he didn't feel like crying over spilt milk. The sight of the young and mischievous faces of his old friends made him feel alive again.

The months after that were brighter, despite the awful weather. It was summer, but it was also England, and so the summer days were gray and wet.

One unusually sunny afternoon in September, Remus visited Diagon Alley.

It had been a while since he'd walked through the magical area of London, and it felt good to be there again. He used to go there often, to buy Wolfsbane Potion, but ever since James had died and had stopped financially supporting him, Remus couldn't afford this potion.

His transformations had been almost unbearable the past decade, as they were worse than before because of the grief. Remus managed to separate himself from humans, but this meant that he, in his wolf form, would attack himself. Every morning after full moon, he'd wake up with severe injuries. Another side effect of the painful and exhausting transformations he had each month, was that Remus constantly looked ill.

He was pale, with very visible bags under his eyes and scars all over his face. His hair was always defying gravity, making him look ever scruffier than he already looked. Remus wasn't a vain person, but he hated the toll being a werewolf took on the way he looked, because now people tried to avoid him even when they didn't know about his lycanthropy.

Arriving at the Leaky Cauldron, Remus picked up a copy of the Daily Prophet. The first page showed a car flying over the city of London. _Flying Fort Anglia mystifies Muggles_, the headline said. Remus smiled, amused. It was something James and Sirius could've done in their day.

Remus' smiled faded, though, as he remembered that Sirius wasn't the good and pleasantly mischievous man Remus thought he was…


	5. Chapter 5: The Job Offer

_I'm sorry that it's taken me such a long time to upload this chapter. I've only just come back from a holiday and I didn't have internet when I was away. From now on it'll be much more frequent. Also, sorry for such a short chapter, I'll upload a longer one very soon, but I just thought it would be a good idea to upload something- no matter how short._

It had been a hard year for Remus. Ever since Hagrid's letter he'd been doing his best to get himself together again, but it wasn't easy.

Almost nothing had changed in the Magical World since the death of his friends, and so it was impossible to find a good job, _any_ job, even. He struggled to persuade his landlord, who was a patient man- but not _that_ patient, to give him some extra time to find a job and earn money to pay for the months of rent he'd not been able to pay.

However, the landlord was growing ever more frustrated with Remus' lack of payment and was on the verge of kicking him out when Remus received a promising letter from Dumbledore.

Remus had to reread the letter a couple of times before he grasped the meaning of it. Dumbledore had offered him a job as the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. The scruffy man couldn't believe his luck and was delighted with the opportunity to go back to Hogwarts. Right after receiving the letter, Remus sent an enthusiastic answer to Dumbledore, letting him now he was glad to take the job, and then he let his landlord know that he would be moving out the next school year and would send him all the money Remus owed him.

When the initial happiness of the job offer had past, a creeping feeling crawled into Remus' gut and pestered him without mercy.

_What was Dumbledore thinking?_ Remus thought, _I can't teach! I've never been a teacher before, I couldn't even stand up to my own friends as a prefect. What makes him think that I can keep order in a class full of mischievous teenagers? Not to mention the implications of my lycanthropy…_

However, Remus didn't really have another option- and it _was_ Dumbledore, after all. He knew what he was doing and if he thought that a werewolf would be a danger to his pupils, he wouldn't invite one to stand in front of a classroom full of students every day…

And so it came to be that on the first of September, Remus was sleeping deeply in one of the comfortable cabins of the Hogwarts Express. Although he would've preferred to be awake and take in all the familiar sights and routines of the journey to Hogwarts, it had been a full moon the night before and not a generous one, either.


End file.
